Self Talk Chapel
I Talk to Me: The Art of Talking to Yourself
Have you ever had that awkward moment where someone waves from across the room and you wave back only to realize a split second later they were waving at the person behind you? I get that a lot.
How about this one… have you ever talked to yourself out loud and had someone else ask to who you were talking to? It makes me feel very small every time. Yes, it’s happened to me more than once. I’m not crazy.
Can I show you all some video clips really quick? When I thought about doing a chapel about talking to yourself I had two movies come to mind immediately: What about Bob and The Gods Must Be Crazy.
[show clip]
There’s a saying that goes something like: they say it’s perfectly normal to talk to yourself; you’re only crazy if you talk back. It’s funny… but not true. There are numerous studies done on how positive self-talk actually makes a difference in competitive sports (both amateur and professional)
(Van Raalte, Judy L.; Brewer, Britton W.; Rivera, Patricia M.; Petitpas, Albert J. Journal of Sport & Exercise Psychology, Vol 16(4), Dec 1994, 400-415. )
In fact, the field of cognitive therapy centers on this idea of self-talk; paying attention to the internal conversation you’re having with yourself can be extremely helpful. “The key is to recognize the logical flaws and self-sabotaging messages [in our thinking] and replace the errors with more rational and appropriate thinking” (Braiker, The Power of Self Talk). Don’t get this wrong: self-talk is not the same thing as self-delusion. The goal isn’t just to be really positive and self-affirming; the goal is to speak truth over yourself until it changes the way you think and the way you live.
Let me give you an example. Let’s say yesterday a student, let’s call him Bob, took a test in my math class. After lunch when I give Bob his test back, he finds he’s failed it. Here’s what Bob says to himself: “I hate this. I’ll never be able to do this. It’s not fair, everyone else but me gets this stuff. I might as well give up because I’m just stupid. I never do anything right.”
That’s a load of garbage. Those over-generalizations (I’ll never be able to do this) and all-or-nothing approaches (I’m stupid, I never do anything right) are self-defeating. In fact, they become self-fulfilling prophecies.
Cognitive Theory suggests Bob should say something like, “That’s frustrating. I’ll have to ask Mr. Busch for some help because I still don’t understand where I went wrong. I guess this class is going to be harder than I thought.”
The first way takes everything to the extreme and leaves Bob no room for other options in how to respond to failure. The second way allows for Bob to reassess how he’s doing and fix his mistakes without taking the failed test as a testament to his intelligence or God-given abilities.
The internal dialogue you have with yourself shapes how you see yourself and how you live your life. I don’t want you to be head in the clouds optimistic all the time, I want you to ground yourself in reality—the reality of who you really are in Christ.
This summer I read through the Psalms. I was struck by how often the Psalmists talk to themselves. In the middle of painful and frustrating circumstances they remind themselves of the truth.
How about this one… have you ever talked to yourself out loud and had someone else ask to who you were talking to? It makes me feel very small every time. Yes, it’s happened to me more than once. I’m not crazy.
Can I show you all some video clips really quick? When I thought about doing a chapel about talking to yourself I had two movies come to mind immediately: What about Bob and The Gods Must Be Crazy.
[show clip]
There’s a saying that goes something like: they say it’s perfectly normal to talk to yourself; you’re only crazy if you talk back. It’s funny… but not true. There are numerous studies done on how positive self-talk actually makes a difference in competitive sports (both amateur and professional)
(Van Raalte, Judy L.; Brewer, Britton W.; Rivera, Patricia M.; Petitpas, Albert J. Journal of Sport & Exercise Psychology, Vol 16(4), Dec 1994, 400-415. )
In fact, the field of cognitive therapy centers on this idea of self-talk; paying attention to the internal conversation you’re having with yourself can be extremely helpful. “The key is to recognize the logical flaws and self-sabotaging messages [in our thinking] and replace the errors with more rational and appropriate thinking” (Braiker, The Power of Self Talk). Don’t get this wrong: self-talk is not the same thing as self-delusion. The goal isn’t just to be really positive and self-affirming; the goal is to speak truth over yourself until it changes the way you think and the way you live.
Let me give you an example. Let’s say yesterday a student, let’s call him Bob, took a test in my math class. After lunch when I give Bob his test back, he finds he’s failed it. Here’s what Bob says to himself: “I hate this. I’ll never be able to do this. It’s not fair, everyone else but me gets this stuff. I might as well give up because I’m just stupid. I never do anything right.”
That’s a load of garbage. Those over-generalizations (I’ll never be able to do this) and all-or-nothing approaches (I’m stupid, I never do anything right) are self-defeating. In fact, they become self-fulfilling prophecies.
Cognitive Theory suggests Bob should say something like, “That’s frustrating. I’ll have to ask Mr. Busch for some help because I still don’t understand where I went wrong. I guess this class is going to be harder than I thought.”
The first way takes everything to the extreme and leaves Bob no room for other options in how to respond to failure. The second way allows for Bob to reassess how he’s doing and fix his mistakes without taking the failed test as a testament to his intelligence or God-given abilities.
The internal dialogue you have with yourself shapes how you see yourself and how you live your life. I don’t want you to be head in the clouds optimistic all the time, I want you to ground yourself in reality—the reality of who you really are in Christ.
This summer I read through the Psalms. I was struck by how often the Psalmists talk to themselves. In the middle of painful and frustrating circumstances they remind themselves of the truth.
|
Psalm 42
1 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. 2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? 3 My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” 4 These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God under the protection of the Mighty One[d] with shouts of joy and praise among the festive throng. 5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. |
6 My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar. 7 Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. 8 By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me-- a prayer to the God of my life. 9 I say to God my Rock, “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?” 10 My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, “Where is your God?” 11 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. |
Psalm 43
1 Vindicate me, my God, and plead my cause against an unfaithful nation. Rescue me from those who are deceitful and wicked. 2 You are God my stronghold. Why have you rejected me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy? 3 Send me your light and your faithful care, let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell. 4 Then I will go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God. 5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. |
We don’t
quite know the context for psalms 42 and 43 but we do know the author feels
forgotten by God. Yet, instead of wallowing in his own self-pity, he talks to
himself—he reminds himself of the truth. He doesn’t deny his feelings or his
situation. He gives himself advice based on what he believes to be true: namely,
God is good: “Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him my Savior and my
God.”
This is more than just the power of positive thinking: words have power—the words you use to describe yourself now can define you for the rest of your life. We believe the story if we are told it enough. If you’re told your stupid your whole life, you end up believing it. If people tell you you’re smart your whole life, you end up believing it (whether it’s true or not). The narrative becomes our reality—the story we tell ourselves becomes the glasses we see all reality through. Sometimes those glasses give us a good picture of the world and sometimes they distort it. Whose glasses are you wearing?
Here’s where it gets serious. We are in a war—not against other people but against spirits. This war is primarily fought in your head.
"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:4-5).
Notice our weaponry—we’re demolishing demonic strongholds/castles. But then the very next verse describes those strongholds: arguments and thoughts which come against the knowledge of God. You must fight for your mind.
The self-talk in your head is not always just you. There are 3 voices in your head: you, the demonic, and the Holy Spirit. The demonic realm wants to deceive you about who you really are. Many of you already believe in Jesus, so they can’t take that away but they will try to do the next best thing—take you out of the fight. But the devil isn’t strong enough to defeat you because God protects us. Instead, the enemy lies to us about who we are and we begin to believe him. If we agree with the Devil about our identity and our purpose, we take ourselves out of the fight for him. And it’s not like you can just decide you don’t want to be in the fight. You’re alive on this planet; you’re in a war for your mind whether you want to be or not. If you choose not to fight, you’ll become a casualty of war.
Here’s where the rubber meets the road: as Christians, we don’t let our own thoughts define us or feelings or even our own experiences; the Word of God defines us. When thoughts come into our head that don’t agree with the Bible, we challenge them. We say “no I’m not going to think that, I’m going to think this”. No, I’m not worthless, Jesus bought me with his own blood. I’m the pearl of great price he sold everything to get. No, I’m not going to entertain thoughts of guilt and condemnation because the Bible says God forgives everyone who asks.
I’d like to go through some of the truths about who you are in Christ. Let’s say them together out loud.
In Christ:
I am accepted…..
1. I am God’s child. John 1:2
2. I am Christ’s friend. John 15:15
3. I have been justified. Rom 5:1
4. I am united with the Lord, and I am one spirit with Him. 1 Cor. 6:17
5. I have been bought with a price. I belong to God. 1 Cor. 6: 19,20
6. I am a member of Christ’s body. 1 Cor. 12.27
7. I am a saint. Eph. 1.1
8. I have been adopted as God’s child. Eph. 1:5
9. I have a direct access to God through the Holy Spirit. Eph. 2:18
10. I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. Col. 1:14
11. I am complete in Christ. Col. 2:10
I am secure……
1. I am free forever from condemnation. Rom. 8:12
2. I am assured that all things work together for good. Rom. 8:28
3. I am free from my condemning charges against me. Rom. 8:31
4. I cannot be separated from the love of God. Rom. 8:35
5. I have been established, anointed, and sealed by God. 2 Cor. 1:21,22
6. I am hidden with Christ in God. Col. 3:3
7. I am confident that the good work God has begun in me will be perfected. Phil. 1:6
8. I am a citizen of heaven. Phil. 3:20
9. I have not been a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind. 2 Tim. 1:7
10. I can find grace and mercy in time of need. Heb. 4:16
11. I am born of God, and the evil one cannot touch me. 1 John 5:18
I am significant…..
1. I am the salt and light of the earth. Matt. 5:13,14
2. I am a branch of the true vine, a channel of His life. John 15:15
3. I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit. John 15:16
4. I am a personal witness of Christ’s. Acts 1:8
5. I am God’s temple. 1 Cor. 3:16
6. I am a minister of reconciliation for God. 2 Cor. 5:17
7. I am God’s co-worker (1 Cor. 3:9). 2 Cor. 6:1
8. I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realm. Eph 2:6
9. I am God’s workmanship. Eph 2:10
10. I may approach God with freedom and confidence. Eph 3:12
11. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13
(From “Living Free in Christ” by Dr. Neil Anderson)
“The more you reaffirm who you are in Christ, the more your behavior will begin to reflect your true identity!” (From “Victory Over the Darkness” by Dr. Neil Anderson)
“The most influential voice in your life will be your own mouth. Speak the word of God over yourself.” - Wes Martin
This is the basis of how we renew our minds. We trade in the lies we believe about ourselves, the lies we believe about God and the lies we believe about others for God’s truth. And it doesn’t matter how you feel about it. You decide, in your head, that you agree with it. You may not feel loved or forgiven but the Bible says you are. I know Veggie Tales says that God made you special but you aren’t that special—God doesn’t forgive everyone except for you.
“But Mr. Busch, you don’t know what I’ve done.”
The apostle Paul killed people. Have you killed someone? David committed adultery and then had the lady’s husband murdered. You? Peter denied he even knew who Jesus was and God still used him to build the early church.
The truth is: you are messed up. But God specializes in using weak and broken people. Once you give your life to him, you become a new creation. You may still feel like a caterpillar but you’ve changed; you’re a butterfly. You may still feel all sorts of things but, if you’re a Christian, your emotions don’t define you. They don’t control you. Once you begin to see your identity and purpose--who God created you to be—who you are becoming—everything begins to shift. Once you begin to see how much he loves you, sin begins to lose its grip on you. You are now a child of God. You have a new Daddy and the more you grow up in Christ, the more you look will look like him.
So today, may you begin to fight for your mind. May you learn to take thoughts captive. May you begin the process of replacing lies about yourself with the truths of who God says you are. May you begin the glorious journey of renewing your mind.
Let’s pray. Father, thank you that you brought us into your family. Thank you that you call us your children. I ask that you would open our eyes. Let us see ourselves as you see us. Let us feel your pleasure over us. We reject the lie that you are angry or mad at us and we embrace the truth: you delight in us and you enjoy us. Help us to recognize the lies in our lives. Reveal the ways we are deceived and teach us to walk in the freedom of your truth. As your children bought with the precious blood of Jesus we pray. Amen.
This is more than just the power of positive thinking: words have power—the words you use to describe yourself now can define you for the rest of your life. We believe the story if we are told it enough. If you’re told your stupid your whole life, you end up believing it. If people tell you you’re smart your whole life, you end up believing it (whether it’s true or not). The narrative becomes our reality—the story we tell ourselves becomes the glasses we see all reality through. Sometimes those glasses give us a good picture of the world and sometimes they distort it. Whose glasses are you wearing?
Here’s where it gets serious. We are in a war—not against other people but against spirits. This war is primarily fought in your head.
"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:4-5).
Notice our weaponry—we’re demolishing demonic strongholds/castles. But then the very next verse describes those strongholds: arguments and thoughts which come against the knowledge of God. You must fight for your mind.
The self-talk in your head is not always just you. There are 3 voices in your head: you, the demonic, and the Holy Spirit. The demonic realm wants to deceive you about who you really are. Many of you already believe in Jesus, so they can’t take that away but they will try to do the next best thing—take you out of the fight. But the devil isn’t strong enough to defeat you because God protects us. Instead, the enemy lies to us about who we are and we begin to believe him. If we agree with the Devil about our identity and our purpose, we take ourselves out of the fight for him. And it’s not like you can just decide you don’t want to be in the fight. You’re alive on this planet; you’re in a war for your mind whether you want to be or not. If you choose not to fight, you’ll become a casualty of war.
Here’s where the rubber meets the road: as Christians, we don’t let our own thoughts define us or feelings or even our own experiences; the Word of God defines us. When thoughts come into our head that don’t agree with the Bible, we challenge them. We say “no I’m not going to think that, I’m going to think this”. No, I’m not worthless, Jesus bought me with his own blood. I’m the pearl of great price he sold everything to get. No, I’m not going to entertain thoughts of guilt and condemnation because the Bible says God forgives everyone who asks.
I’d like to go through some of the truths about who you are in Christ. Let’s say them together out loud.
In Christ:
I am accepted…..
1. I am God’s child. John 1:2
2. I am Christ’s friend. John 15:15
3. I have been justified. Rom 5:1
4. I am united with the Lord, and I am one spirit with Him. 1 Cor. 6:17
5. I have been bought with a price. I belong to God. 1 Cor. 6: 19,20
6. I am a member of Christ’s body. 1 Cor. 12.27
7. I am a saint. Eph. 1.1
8. I have been adopted as God’s child. Eph. 1:5
9. I have a direct access to God through the Holy Spirit. Eph. 2:18
10. I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. Col. 1:14
11. I am complete in Christ. Col. 2:10
I am secure……
1. I am free forever from condemnation. Rom. 8:12
2. I am assured that all things work together for good. Rom. 8:28
3. I am free from my condemning charges against me. Rom. 8:31
4. I cannot be separated from the love of God. Rom. 8:35
5. I have been established, anointed, and sealed by God. 2 Cor. 1:21,22
6. I am hidden with Christ in God. Col. 3:3
7. I am confident that the good work God has begun in me will be perfected. Phil. 1:6
8. I am a citizen of heaven. Phil. 3:20
9. I have not been a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind. 2 Tim. 1:7
10. I can find grace and mercy in time of need. Heb. 4:16
11. I am born of God, and the evil one cannot touch me. 1 John 5:18
I am significant…..
1. I am the salt and light of the earth. Matt. 5:13,14
2. I am a branch of the true vine, a channel of His life. John 15:15
3. I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit. John 15:16
4. I am a personal witness of Christ’s. Acts 1:8
5. I am God’s temple. 1 Cor. 3:16
6. I am a minister of reconciliation for God. 2 Cor. 5:17
7. I am God’s co-worker (1 Cor. 3:9). 2 Cor. 6:1
8. I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realm. Eph 2:6
9. I am God’s workmanship. Eph 2:10
10. I may approach God with freedom and confidence. Eph 3:12
11. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13
(From “Living Free in Christ” by Dr. Neil Anderson)
“The more you reaffirm who you are in Christ, the more your behavior will begin to reflect your true identity!” (From “Victory Over the Darkness” by Dr. Neil Anderson)
“The most influential voice in your life will be your own mouth. Speak the word of God over yourself.” - Wes Martin
This is the basis of how we renew our minds. We trade in the lies we believe about ourselves, the lies we believe about God and the lies we believe about others for God’s truth. And it doesn’t matter how you feel about it. You decide, in your head, that you agree with it. You may not feel loved or forgiven but the Bible says you are. I know Veggie Tales says that God made you special but you aren’t that special—God doesn’t forgive everyone except for you.
“But Mr. Busch, you don’t know what I’ve done.”
The apostle Paul killed people. Have you killed someone? David committed adultery and then had the lady’s husband murdered. You? Peter denied he even knew who Jesus was and God still used him to build the early church.
The truth is: you are messed up. But God specializes in using weak and broken people. Once you give your life to him, you become a new creation. You may still feel like a caterpillar but you’ve changed; you’re a butterfly. You may still feel all sorts of things but, if you’re a Christian, your emotions don’t define you. They don’t control you. Once you begin to see your identity and purpose--who God created you to be—who you are becoming—everything begins to shift. Once you begin to see how much he loves you, sin begins to lose its grip on you. You are now a child of God. You have a new Daddy and the more you grow up in Christ, the more you look will look like him.
So today, may you begin to fight for your mind. May you learn to take thoughts captive. May you begin the process of replacing lies about yourself with the truths of who God says you are. May you begin the glorious journey of renewing your mind.
Let’s pray. Father, thank you that you brought us into your family. Thank you that you call us your children. I ask that you would open our eyes. Let us see ourselves as you see us. Let us feel your pleasure over us. We reject the lie that you are angry or mad at us and we embrace the truth: you delight in us and you enjoy us. Help us to recognize the lies in our lives. Reveal the ways we are deceived and teach us to walk in the freedom of your truth. As your children bought with the precious blood of Jesus we pray. Amen.
